When Purpose Replaces Insecurity

with Lily

Lily didn’t think much of God or Christians until a single invitation to a high school Bible study changed her life forever. Confronted with her misconceptions about faith, she found authentic relationships, purpose, and ultimately, a relationship with Jesus. Now, she’s passionate about leading others toward Him.

Transcript

Before I came to a high school group, I never really thought about God. But, I was actually dating the person at the time who invited me, and I was a total simp, so I was like, "Yeah, I'll do that, if that's what you want. I guess."

I was a freshman in high school, and I literally knew nothing about the Bible. I knew Jesus existed, but I didn't know why He existed.

So I didn't really care. I was invited to a high school Bible study and I was like, "I don't want to fricking go to. This is going to be a lame af...I'm going to go one time and then I don't have to ever go again". That's clearly not what happened.

Yeah. So I went and I remember being actually really struck by the teaching. The passage that they taught on was Matthew 7, and that addresses hypocrisy. And I had all these preconceived notions that Christians are just like stupid hypocrites. I remember being like, "This is kind of lit, maybe I should come back". I also saw everyone's relationships are really good, and people are actually really curious about my life.

I kept coming to that home church and a couple months after the Lord kept working on my heart, a woman named Jenna, who was my disciple for like four and a half years; she shared the gospel with me and I was like, "Wow, I've never heard that before". Even though I probably sat under seven or eight gospel teachings at that point. But, you know, sometimes it just takes a minute to register.

I received Christ that night and then COVID lockdown happened a few weeks later. And yeah, I started going to "Zoom Home Church" and I was pretty much just immediately like, "if stuff about Jesus is true, then I want to fully commit to this".

I started doing evangelism. I started sharing Christ with my friends. Three of my friends came to Christ in high school and that was super encouraging for me; a couple of which are still following and leading for God today. So that's really cool. I felt important in the high school group. I felt like the Lord had actual work for me to do. There are unique gifts that God had given me.

I felt like I had real purpose there. And then I remember going to...I heard about the college group being a thing and I was like, "That is so cool. I want to do that. I want to be in the ministry house". I didn't even really know what a ministry house was. I remember I went on a college cell retreat my junior year of high school, and I was like, "Oh my God, this is so cool". Everyone is so old. And I don't know, I liked that. I respected people there. I met new friends and they made me feel welcomed.

Going into my senior year, the college group was actually starting to become more of a real thing and I knew I wanted to move into the ministry house, but I think the actual idea of that approaching was starting to become a little terrifying of like, I'm going to have to live with people and actually learn how to resolve conflict in relationships. And people are going to see that I'm kind of a butthole sometimes. And it was honestly a pretty difficult transition.

I was lucky enough to already be close friends with some of the girls in my group. But I remember in high school group I felt like I had a huge role and a purpose there. And in the college group I was like, "I don't know a lot of these people. I don't know what I'm doing". I was reaching out to people in my school and like, no one came to church for like an entire year, and I felt pretty aimless.

Also, because I was like one of the youngest people in our group I was like, "all these people are older than me, and they know way more". And that brought a ton of insecurity.

But I think like what the Lord has shown me the last year and a half, being in the college group is like, "He wants to use me just as much as he wants to use people who have been following God for way longer than I have".

I think something that's really awesome getting to be like a high school group leader after being a student is getting to do for other people what someone did for me in discipleship.

I met with a woman named Jenna every week for a long time, and she taught me a lot about God and getting to do that for another student who was, I mean, my age when I came to Christ and actually getting to see them mature spiritually. And see her actually put God at the center of their lives has been like the coolest thing ever.

So yeah, I honestly would not like trade what the Lord has given me for anything.